It was just a matter of time before the NIGHT SWEATS made it to my own personal symptom list. I was feeling a little left out, not having EVERY SINGLE symptom that I’ve seen other Lymies post 🙂 Kidding! But yes, they have hit. The first couple times, I thought maybe I just had the heat up too high, or maybe I wore something to bed that made me sweat – but last night, it was 22 degrees outside, the winds were gusting up to 28 mph, it was snowing and I went to bed in a tank top. When I woke up from my sound slumber (another sarcastic joke) my winter wear AKA tank top, was covered in sweat. Well, if I’m too tired to workout at least, I can get a sweat going while I’m sleeping. I guess rolling around in the middle of the night, is the most exercise I get during the day! Oh, I’m on a roll today!
Well, the good news is that since I don’t sleep well and I wake up in a puddle, I’ve actually been getting up before my alarm (or at least when it goes off the FIRST time) and I’ve been reading the bible before I start my day. I have tried, and tried, and tried to fit this into different parts of my day – convincing myself that a mom of four who works full time, just doesn’t have the time to carve out time in her schedule to do this. I’ll just talk to God throughout the day, praying in my car, while I’m cooking dinner . . . yes, that’s all well and good, but it’s not enough. I realized that the day I was waiting for my first lyme test to come back. I couldn’t sleep, was terrified about getting the results. Instead of being upset about not being able to sleep, I was thankful. Thankful that HE gave me that time to be able to drop to my knees and reach out to HIM. I had been waiting and waiting for the right time. I had the urge for emotional prayers, I was tired of my monotonous prayers. I wanted to be more passionate in my prayers, but I didn’t seem to have the need or desire.That day, I certainly had a reason. This is what I wrote in my journal that day:
“I know in my heart that God is working. He has a plan to slow me down, to rid my obsession with vanity through this suffering. I am excited because I know this is HIS will, I’m excited because I know that through these trials I will come to him, like I have this morning. I am excited about the future, because I know that the outcome of this will be wonderful and HIS will, so it has to be perfect.”
I asked God to lead me to a verse that would speak to my heart. I turned to 1 Samuel 25. I read for awhile, nothing seemed to click, until 1 Samuel 26:24 And, behold, as thy life was much set by this day in mine eyes, so let my life be much set by in the eyes of the LORD, and let him deliver me out of all tribulation. I realized that when the Lord reached out to Saul, he did not stretch out his hand. But when the Lord reached out to me, when I was at rock bottom, I went running to him with open arms. I knew he was the light. . . . the only way out of the darkness that had become my life. I finished that journal entry with this, “He is with me. He LOVES me and there is nothing else I need or want. Thank you JESUS!” God is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow. Are you?