I’ve never been so excited to be sick. I feel so blessed to have a diagnosis so quickly! Six months in Lyme life is a very, VERY short wait time for a diagnosis. I have read about people who have gone nine YEARS without a diagnosis and it only took us six months?! That in itself is a miracle. Not only have I been blessed to receive confirmation so quickly, but I have learned many valuable lessons during this time. The first and foremost is to be still, be quiet and listen.
When you stop the madness and actually sit quietly, the Lord will speak to you (if you have a relationship with him). One night, early in the Lyme journey, I was up late researching symptoms, and after reading a specific article, I heard the words IT IS LYME. It wasn’t like, “this sounds like it could be Lyme,” or “i think it might be be Lyme.” I heard, loud and clear: “IT IS LYME.”
Even though the tests hadn’t come back yet (and when they did, they were still negative), I knew at that moment that all my problems were caused by the little rash I had seen on my ankle months earlier. I knew the Holy Spirit spoke to me, there was no question in my mind. I also knew at that moment, that the Autism battle I had fought for years with my boys, was a pivotal experience in my life. Autism forced me to become an advocate for my boys. I found myself fighting for a cause that I didn’t know much about. But I knew that I had to educate myself and fight like hell — for their sake.
It’s so easy to see that God’s plan for me was to experience the Autism trial, so that I would be able to not only survive this one – but it would prepare me for the fight. Prepare me for the controversy that is Lyme. The young Lisa (that’s me) never would have second guessed a doctor or questioned two separate NEGATIVE Lyme tests. But because of the Autism fight, I knew that the world wasn’t as perfect as I once thought it was (aka La La Lisa Land).
In this world – the one that the rest of us live in – there is corruption and there are lies. But there is also HOPE and FAITH and inspiration. There is JOY, like the JOY I have now, knowing that I am not crazy. I am sick – even if my Lyme levels do not meet the criteria for the Center for Disease Control to confirm the diagnosis (yet my blood does show bacteria that can only be found with the presence of Lyme). I have HOPE that I will eventually have the energy and endurance to go for a jog, that these darn twitches and spasms will go away and there will be a day with no more jaw pain and migraines! And I will rejoice!! I am rejoicing now! As i’m twitching and spasming!
ooohhh and the vanity…. the lovely vanity issue that God so desperately wanted to address with me. He placed me in a job, where I would be surrounded by cats and dogs, and eventually one tiny, adorable puppy would have his head smashed in a car door, have its life saved by one of my co-workers, become a surrender, I would eventually adopt that puppy, our family would move to a new home (with a tick invested backyard), one of those little buggers would find their way onto my new pup, he’d snuggle up with me to go to bed one night, the tick would leap from him, onto my ankle and ZING BOOM BAM fast forward six months and here we are today celebrating a LYME diagnosis!
God’s amazing plan. I was spending way too much time worrying about my weight, trying to be thin and athletic. I needed to slow down, spend more time with my family and focus on what’s really important…. the fact that Jesus Christ died for me. I needed to start acting like I know it, care about it and want to share it with others. So, that’s what I’m doing. celebrating, LIFE, LOVE, JESUS and of course LYME!