“I miss my old mommy”

As my ten year old is cuddled up in bed with me crying because I’m too weak to tuck him in he sobs, “I miss the old mommy!”

How do I respond to that? Lyme has been a blessing in so many ways, but it has also been such a burden on those around me. My poor husband works all day, comes home, prepares dinner, does homework with the kids, cleans up, gets the kids to bed and at 10:00 pm runs any errands that have to be done that day. . .  the work never ends.

I didn’t realize what an impact my health had been on my family. I thought the kids liked me being home, being snuggled up on the couch all day. But apparently that gets old — for everyone. Now they just wants their old mommy back.

I don’t blame them. I want my old body back. For 20 years I have been the same weight. Since my Lyme journey, I have gained 20 pounds. I don’t fit into any of my clothes, I’ve had to resort to FAT clothes, because I have no idea when the weight gain will stop. I’m not allowed to do any type of exercise that will result in sweating — hello that rules out just about everything! If i miss even just a few days of meds, I’m back to square one feeling lousy again. It sucks!

So, yes – I’m ready for the old me. But as always, I go back to the WHY. Why has God chosen this path for me. There is a reason. And if for no other reason, than to create this blog and educate others on the controversy of Lyme and why you have to be your own advocate . . . because chances are your doctor will NOT diagnose and treat you for the infection that’s brewing in your body.  That’s enough for me.

So, I hope that these posts are reaching the right people, I hope that some day, some one benefits from my story. The good news is that not only am I growing tremendously spiritually (as well as physically!! haaaa couldn’t resist) there are a lot of really cute sweats out these days! Sweats and hoodies are SO in . . .  and right now, that’s basically what my wardrobe consists of.

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