As my ten year old is cuddled up in bed with me crying because I’m too weak to tuck him in he sobs, “I miss the old mommy!”
How do I respond to that? Lyme has been a blessing in so many ways, but it has also been such a burden on those around me. My poor husband works all day, comes home, prepares dinner, does homework with the kids, cleans up, gets the kids to bed and at 10:00 pm runs any errands that have to be done that day. . . the work never ends.
I didn’t realize what an impact my health had been on my family. I thought the kids liked me being home, being snuggled up on the couch all day. But apparently that gets old — for everyone. Now they just wants their old mommy back.
I don’t blame them. I want my old body back. For 20 years I have been the same weight. Since my Lyme journey, I have gained 20 pounds. I don’t fit into any of my clothes, I’ve had to resort to FAT clothes, because I have no idea when the weight gain will stop. I’m not allowed to do any type of exercise that will result in sweating — hello that rules out just about everything! If i miss even just a few days of meds, I’m back to square one feeling lousy again. It sucks!
So, yes – I’m ready for the old me. But as always, I go back to the WHY. Why has God chosen this path for me. There is a reason. And if for no other reason, than to create this blog and educate others on the controversy of Lyme and why you have to be your own advocate . . . because chances are your doctor will NOT diagnose and treat you for the infection that’s brewing in your body. That’s enough for me.
So, I hope that these posts are reaching the right people, I hope that some day, some one benefits from my story. The good news is that not only am I growing tremendously spiritually (as well as physically!! haaaa couldn’t resist) there are a lot of really cute sweats out these days! Sweats and hoodies are SO in . . . and right now, that’s basically what my wardrobe consists of.