My glass is half full, but my tool box is half empty.

psalm-37-5

Do you ever feel like you’re thrown into situations, where you try to fix the problem at hand, but you don’t have the correct tools? Or maybe the tool that would totally fix the problem is broken? I feel like I’m going through these trials and God is specifically shining a light on all of the areas of my life that I need to improve upon and he’s even showing me the way . . . but then when I try to fix it, I can’t.

My parenting skills is a big one. He has shown me the error of my way. I need more patience, I have to stop raising my voice . . . so I see the problem, I know what the answer is BUT I have four kids, triplets, Autism, Oppositional Defiance Disorder and now Lyme disease aka debilitating fatigue and migraines. I can talk about how I want to parent parent, I can explain it to the children, even map it out on a behavioral chart, but after an hour or two into “life” I fail . . .  and I mean epic fail!

How is an exhausted, stressed out mom with a pounding headache, supposed to put on her Behavioral Therapist hat and strategically diffuse temper tantrums and entertain children when she can barely take care of herself. Not to mention the role of wife, marketing manager, friend, daughter, sister . . .  all the roles that I play. How am I supposed to pull it all off when my tool box has been run over by the Lyme truck?

It’s like the fruit dangling in front of my face. I can see it. I can smell it. I can practically taste it. But it’s just out of reach . . . . and it is sooooooo very frustrating. The funny thing is that I know what the answer is. It’s the same answer to every question. Jesus.

I have given myself to the Lord. I have given my life to the Lord. And I am slowly learning one by one to give him not only my trials, but every aspect of the trial: the arguments, the temper tantrums, the melt downs . . . . and everything in between. I learned a long time ago not to worry about the future and to take life one day at a time and even one moment at a time. But what I’m learning now is that I have to give God not just one trial at a time . . . but every single solitary step involved in the trial to him. It’s the only way. It’s THE tool to fix every problem.

Psalm 37:5 
Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.
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