Blackouts, storms and dim lights

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I start my fourth week of IV hydration therapy tomorrow. Keeping consistent with the theme of my Lyme journey – there have already been several highs and lows. The first week was amazing! I had energy, ambition and even lost a few pounds. Then the second and third weeks weren’t so great. There was more herxing than feeling good.

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After meeting with Dr. Molly last week and reviewing my symptom’s chart (which she gives me to track the severity of my symptoms) she suggested that I receive a shot for the exhaustion. It was a tiny little needle in the back of my arm – all natural of course! I went back to work and immediately started to feel the effects. I was sitting in the conference room for our bi-weekly manager’s meeting, but this time when I looked around the room, it was like I had put on glasses for the very first time. Everything seemed so much clearer. I also felt like I was an integral part of the meeting for once. And when I got back to my desk, I was more productive in that last hour than I had been all week. It was amazing!

We’ve had a busy week with the usual end of year parties, birthday celebrations – and oh I almost forgot losing power for two days due to severe storm (don’t think they actually labeled it a tornado, but it was the most dangerous storm I’ve ever witnessed). Giant, full grown trees were ripped up from the root, white vinyl fences were blown over everywhere, every traffic light in town was out for days, it was the like something out of a movie.

With four kids, no electricity, no air conditioning and barely any food in the house, I was prepared for the worst; but to my surprise it was actually a very pleasant few days. The lack of fighting over video games, the same old re-runs on HGTV that suck me in . . . . it was quiet and peaceful. The kids played things like Hide and Go Seek in the basement and we fried waffles on the stove – which is now the new favorite breakfast food! And I enjoyed washing clothes by hand and drying them outside. It was adventurous. However,  we also knew it was only temporary. We knew the power would come back and save us!

I guess that’s how I get through my Lyme journey. I know it’s only temporary. Dr. Molly says I will feel like a different person at the end of my ten week treatment. I see the light and I’m headed in the right direction. (It can’t come soon enough for me – but that’s just my flesh talking). When I sat down tonight, I opened up the bible and came to Psalm 116 1-9:

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice, he heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me I will call on him as long as I live.
The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the Lord:
O, Lord, save me!
The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, He saved me.
Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. 
For you, O Lord have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living. 

The Lord has done all of these things for me. Before I was saved I was severely depressed, suicidal, overwhelmed by life and completely lost. Now, my hope is in the Lord. I know He has me on the right path for healing, I know I have lessons that need to be learned. I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

I’m patiently waiting and trying to stay quiet so I can hear what He has to say. It’s not always easy, but when I realize how much He has done for me in the past, why would I ever doubt my future? Just as there was darkness in our neighborhood a few days ago, the sun always came up. And even as the night fell upon us, there was a calm once the storm passed and the glow from the candle was enough to get us through the darkest of times.

I hope that you allow the Lord to be your light and guide you during your dark times. It’s the only way to survive the darkness. Trust me, I know! God Bless 🙂

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