Last week started off amazing! The kids had Vacation Bible School (VBS) all week and since I was on bed rest during VBS planning I wasn’t on the volunteer list this year, which meant I had an entire week of evenings to myself! I visited my parents, caught up with old friends and helped coach my daughter’s cheerleading camp – I even squeaked in a date night with hubby! Then week four started.
What’s that Meatloaf song, Two out of Three aint bad? I can’t help but to have that song in my head as I deal with week four of my lyme cycle. I can feel absolutely amazing for three weeks – no migraines, no back pain, no arthritis, no fatigue, no brain fog and boom week four hits and my body goes to crap. I went from doing toe touches on Thursday with the girls, to spending my entire weekend laying down.
Hubby and I spent our date night shopping for a new TV console. We found one on sale and went back on Sunday with the kids to get it. Like I said, most of my weekend was spent in the fetal position – whether on the lounge chair at the pool or on the couch in the family room. So, when I was upright at the store, hubby says, “See – you actually look like you’re feeling better now that you’re out and about.” I smile and reply, “I’m good at faking. Honestly, I’m in pain from head to toe and I’m exhausted just from standing here.”
We got home, unloaded the car and I collapsed on the couch for the rest of the night. Hubby offered to hang up the pictures and new shelves, but I couldn’t even muster up enough energy to delegate where they had to be hung. So, we went to bed with an empty wall and a bare TV console.
This week started with the same pain and lack of energy – which is a recipe for disaster when parenting four kids – especially when dealing with triplets, Autism and ADHD. Once I finally loaded up the minivan with kids and leaving the development we had to head back to the house TWICE: once for gas money and second time for a sneaker – yes, one sneaker (silly me, I should have known better and checked all eight feet before leaving the house). This is not the first (second or even third) time we’ve gone out for the day and someone was missing one or both shoes.
When I finally made it work, I called Dr. Molly and asked if I could have my weekly treatment bumped up. I knew that once I had my lyme juice I’d feel better, so why wait? At the Cherry Hill Clinic, they are all about the patients! Whether it’s moving appointments around to better accommodate your schedule or remembering which vein is your best, so you don’t have to get poked twice, the staff at Cherry Hill Clinic really does provide genuine, individual care for every single patient that walks through the door. When you’re there, you know that they genuinely have your best interest at heart.
As a mom of two special needs kids, that statement has crossed my mind more times than we’ve left the house without shoes. I always doubt the sincerity of the Child Study Team members, the School Board, the therapists . . . they always seem more concerned about the school’s budget than my child’s needs.
When I came back to work after my treatment, I felt so much better. I finished up my work for the day, picked the kids up from the sitter and then it started. The slow decline. Yelling, screaming and fighting over who’s hand is on who’s arm rest, why someone has their foot on their chair, over the tone of the voice of the person singing the song on the radio, someone’s mimicking me. I give warning after warning, nothing changes. That’s it – I can’t handle it anymore. I catch myself yelling, “STOP! JUST STOP! STOP EVERYTHING THAT YOU’RE DOING! YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO MAKE MY HEAD EXPLODE!” I couldn’t even go into the details of what behavior needed to be corrected and why. I just needed it all to stop.
I just shake my head, sigh and rest my head on the window as I drive home. Research proves that stress can trigger a Lyme flare up and I’ve been advised to remove all stress from my life – seriously, that’s funny. The neck pain that just eased up, is now back in full force, I’m now getting sharp shooting pain in my head and I’m thinking to myself, “I CAN NOT deal with this! My sick, Lyme body CAN NOT deal with this!”
And just when I’m ready to throw myself the pity-party of a life time, God speaks to me and says, “Neither can they. Their bodies’ can not deal with what they’re going through.” And at that moment, I realize how blessed I am to have a diagnosis; to have a doctor that listens to my complaints about my ailments; to have had over 30 years of good health, so that I knew immediately when something was really wrong with my body.
But my boys have had their Autism diagnosis since they were three. They don’t know life without PERVASIVE DEVELOPMENTAL DISORDER – NOT OTHERWISE SPECIFIED. They don’t know life without Oppositional Defiance Disorder or Attention Deficit Disorder. At least I know that gluten and sugar can cause a flareup. I know that taking an Epson Salt Bath or sitting in the sauna for 15 minutes will help me to feel a little less Lymie.
My kids don’t have the luxury of knowing what causes their stomach aches why they stim, or why it takes so long for them to complete a thought. But it’s my job as a parent to get the answers to those questions.
I know I don’t have the money to take them to see yet another specialist (that’s not covered by insurance), but I do know that God has been whispering to me about this and after today, it was loud and clear. Somehow, He will provide the answers, the means to the solutions and my boys will finally have the tools they need to live a life a symptom-free life.
Along with her wealth of knowledge regarding Lyme Disease, (which she will be focusing on this week on during her talk show – please call in with your questions: 856.489.0505. Her show airs every Sunday from 11:00 am – 12:00 noon. Click here to listen!) Dr. Molly is a fellow believer. She has this bible verse mounted on the wall in the IV treatment room:
Ecclesiastes 3 A Time for Everything
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.
I understand this bible verse and I think we can all apply it to our lives. Everything in life happens for a reason and with every difficult challenge, comes the opportunity for great learning but it’s the verses that follow, that really spoke to me tonight:
10. I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
There really is a silver lining on every black cloud. It’s hard to understand or appreciate it, while you’re smack dab in the midst of the storm, but He knows that everything will be beautiful in its time. Just wait for the rainbow 🙂
The verse says that we can not fathom the things that God has done or will do for us -and this great God is speaking to me about how to help my children. What greater gift can I receive, than this? So, really . . . who cares about that fourth week.