Healing crisis meets mental breakdown

HE>I

Last week, I had a reaction from one of my co-infections. Honestly, I forget the name – and really what does it matter? I broke out in a rash on my stomach and down my leg. Dr. Molly and I discussed these reactions and decided it was time to add antibiotics to my “Lyme Juice” and make these stinkin bugs fight harder to survive. Well – it worked. I immediately started herxing (or as Dr. Molly calls it . . . I experienced a health crisis). My extreme sensitivity to light and sound came back, exhaustion set in, the involuntary twitching kicked into high gear, my skin felt like I had ICY HEAT rubbed all over it and last but certainly not least – my emotional state of mind can only be compared to PMS on steroids.

I emailed Dr. Molly immediately and said I’d rather be a sick, happy mom for the rest of my life, than an angry healthy wife and mom. We made it through the weekend and a full day of work on Monday – and then it happened. Emotional breakdown meets health crisis.

Hubby had been sick with a head cold for a few days and I was trying to play super mom. Cooking dinner, cleaning up, coordinating backpacks, the signing of homework, sports schedules  – topping it all off with family game night! Great idea in theory, but around 7:30 pm my body started screaming, ‘ENOUGH ALREADY!’ But I didn’t listen, after a few games of Battleship, I made my way to the dining room table for a round of Clue. I tried desperately, to enjoy it  – but even the laughter was too painful for my head. I called the game to a screeching halt and sent everyone to bed.

Sounds and lights turned into a migraine. Twitches turned into what felt like a seizure. Slow deep breaths turned into hyperventilating. Tears turned into an uncontrollable sob. This is it. This is my life. I’m not capable of giving my husband one day off, to recoup from a cold without having a breakdown.  I can’t deal with it anymore. I’m tired of being sick.

Hubby calmed me down with the longest, strongest, warmest hug ever. I thought after an exhausting breakdown, I’d sleep like a baby, but instead every single sound I heard, kept me awake and caused more pain.

The next day, Hubby and I both stayed home from work. I called Dr. Molly and she saw me right away. SO, there are actually doctors out there who will see you the same day you are sick – go figure! She sat down with Hubby and I, listened to our concerns and reassured us both that things would get better – that this valley I’m in is not the end. Simply a trial I must go through.

After talking to Dr. Molly, Nurse Linda set me up with my own private room, turned the lights down for me and made sure I was all snugged up in my chair. I’ve always been treated very well at the Cherry Hill Clinic, but this time was above and beyond. There’s no place like home – and that’s what the clinic is becoming for me. A place that I can speak freely, lay my head down when I’m tired and know that everyone has my back.

To have a doctor who genuinely cares and admits to not having all of the answers, but that trusts that God is in control – is simply a miracle. I’m so thankful to have a husband that not only stays by my side during the rough times, but literally holds me up. With my family, my home away from home and my faith in God, I can find peace in the midst of the chaos. And know that God is bigger than any health crisis, temper tantrum or breakdown that life throws at me. HE>i

John 3:30

He must become greater; I must become less.

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