Several years ago, I fell into a deep depression. I searched high and low for ways to escape the pain and difficulty of my own life. Like most people, I found temporary relief in alcohol, therapy and prescription anti-depressants.
Once I got saved, I would tell people all about my testimony . . . . how God (with a mix of the right prescription and an amazing husband by my side) changed my life. I no longer needed a Girls Night Out, shopping therapy or any mini-escape to deal with what life was throwing at me.
I had heard about stories where God had delivered people from addiction or illness – but I felt like my situation was different. I could be totally filled with the Holy Spirit, just coming from an amazing service, surrounded by my fellow Christian friends at church and still feel overwhelmed by the chaos of four kids, triplets, Autism squared and ODD. It didn’t matter how much my cup was filled with GOD – my situation required a prescription.
UNTIL . . . a few weeks ago, while sitting in church listening to Pastor Harry talk about going to the bottle or your pill to find comfort – instead of going to the Lord. This is not the first time he’s made this type of reference and I’m sure it won’t be the last. BUT this time, it hit me personally. The Holy Spirit was tugging on my heart strings . . . it was time to let God take over (even on this very sensitive topic). I’ve surrendered everything to God. My life, my finances, my family . . . but this dependency I thought for sure was something that I still needed.
The tears streamed down my face, as I lifted my hands in praise and worship to God. At first, I was going to fill out a prayer request form and ask the prayer team to pray for me, regarding this issue. But as time ticked away and the service drew to an end, I knew it was time for action -not just prayer. I made my way up to the front and asked for a fellow sister to pray for me. My husband had no idea what I was doing and he was completely shocked as I shared what just happened. He had suggested for years that I cut back or stop the prescription, with hopes to someday, get “his wife” back. But every time I tried, I quickly fell into my flesh and became overwhelmed with emotion and stress.
I shared my experience with my fabulous Dr. Molly at the Cherry Hill Clinic, who was supportive as always. It’s a beautiful thing having a Christian doctor who know’s who the real physician is! She gave me a specific regiment to follow, to wean off the drug and I am happy to report that I am almost completely free of this drug and feel amazing!
To my surprise, I’m laughing more, crying more (which is a good thing!) and even whining more – which my husband actually missed! It’s feels good to feel . . . even if it hurts sometimes.
I know that every story is unique and no one can tell you when it’s time to stop a prescription that a doctor has given you – but what I can tell you is that God does deliver – anyone and everyone from anything! Including anxiety, stress, depression, post-traumatic stress syndrome – everything! But it’s all on HIS TIMING. You have to sit and wait for HIM to tell you when. But if you’re too busy with the hustle and bustle of life, you won’t hear HIM.
So, take it from me – a depressed, autistic mom, who battles everything from eating disorders to migraines – God is all you need! If he can fix this hot mess, he can fix anything!
Praise to JESUS!