Hiding from the Light

Tuesday nights are Read to the Dogs at our local library. This program improves children’s reading and communication skills by employing a powerful method: reading to a dog.  But not just any dog.  These are registered therapy animals who volunteer with their handler as a team, going to schools, libraries, and many other settings. However, Tuesday night is also one of my late nights at work, so there are many times that I’ve promised to bring the kids to this program, but due to my ongoing bout with Lyme Disease, I often have to cancel.

My daily work commute ranges anywhere from 30 – 60 minutes depending on the day. Traffic, weather, construction, time of day – they all play a factor in how long it takes me to get home. Lately the sun has been another issue. One of my lingering Lyme symptoms is my extreme sensitivity to light and sound. Some days it’s worse than others. Most days I function relatively normally (ha ha – my days are far from normal) and other days this sensitivity stops me in my tracks.

Most recently the drive home seems to trigger this symptom, which can lead into a full-fledge migraine. Some days just the way the sunlight hits the dashboard, or reflects off something in my car it can begin. At night, it’s the glare of the oncoming headlights. It starts out as a dull pain in the back of my head,  that slowly radiates to the front. Then ZING. Something happens. It’s like my body screams, “Enough! I’ve reached my limit!” and I get a sharp pain in the side of my head. This is when I know the migraine is inevitable. Usually by now, I’ve got my huge, old lady granny sunglasses on, a hat pulled down over my eyes, the sun visors pulled down as far as they will go, and I’m holding one hand up blocking the sun from my line of vision, with the other hand on the steering wheel …. all while navigating through rush hour traffic. I’ve actually considered getting a note from my doctor saying I can’t drive at night anymore…. but then I realized that it happens during the day too.

By the time I’ve reached this point of the sensitivity, I can pretty much assume that I’ll be spending the rest of my night in bed. My husband does a great job keeping the kids quiet and the house dark.  He even brings my dinner (which he cooks!) to me in bed. So, on this particular night instead of reading the dogs, my kids tucked me in and kissed me good night, while I fought to hold back my tears.

This past week was pretty brutal. After a full week of intense migraines, my week ended with the arrival of my period . . . . another trigger for a full blown out Lyme flare up. Althought, we may not have control over our menstrual cycle, we do have control over what we put into our body. Limiting my sugar is one of the smartest things I can do no matter what time of the month it is. I’ve also started taking Melatonin. My amazing doctor, Dr. Molly suggested I try it for ten days. I take one pill about an hour before bed, or at the first signs of a headache and to my surprise, I haven’t had a single migraine since I started this regiment.

One of my favorite bible verses is Matthew 5:16 | Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. . . .

I pray every day and ask God to help me be the light in this very dark world of ours.  So, I find it ironic that light is what causes so much of my physical pain. But the bible also says in John 16:33 that in this world we will have tribulation and that we should be of good cheer because HE overcame the world.

But what he says right before that is what’s really important . . . .  “in Me you may have peace.” Although most days I find myself doing everything humanly possible to hide from the bright lights of this world, I have a sense of peace knowing that it’s all part of HIS plan for my life and when my suffering has come to an end, the biggest, brightest, most magnificent light that I could ever imagine will welcome me into HIS kingdom, where I will never have to hide from the light again.

My prayer for you is that whatever trial or tribulation you’re going through right now, you find the peace that only HE can bring. No matter how DARK things may seem. HE is the light of the world and HE loves you. And no matter what kind of disguise you put on, you can’t hide from HIS love.

 

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